Every cancer patient needs a break. Almost all health care providers acknowledge that cancer patients need to set aside dealing with cancer occasionally and just enjoy the blessings and fullness of life. For many, cancer is hard work and a full time job when recovering from major surgery or undergoing radiation or chemotherapy treatments.
If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. Isaiah 58:13,14
Isaiah 58:13,14 is God's call to me to set aside my work of cancer treatment and recovery and delight myself in the Lord. Unlike most cancer patients, I don't need to grab mental downtime whenever I can, nor am I limited to an hour or two here or there. My Personal Physician prescribes 24 hours every week. It's called "Sabbath" and it begins Friday evening at sundown and closes Saturday evening at sunset. It is the best prescription for coping with cancer ever written. My Physician wrote the original prescription when he created this world.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. Genesis 2:1-3
Early in this journey, the Lord impressed upon my heart that Sabbath was to be my day of rest from cancer. For us, those first eight weeks were difficult. I couldn't talk about what was going on without crying and I dislike crying. I had to intentionally take my cancer package and on Friday evening, put it on the top shelf of my mind with a sign that read "Do Not Touch!" That is so hard when your mind is swirling with treatment options, decisions to be made, what ifs, and the emotions of it all. God called to my heart,
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Psalms 46:10-11
I praise the Lord for friends who knowingly or unknowingly helped us carefully guard the hours of the Sabbath and made it a delight! Those times of fellowship and spiritual refreshment are precious memories for our whole family. We still treasure our Sabbath times and do our best to put cancer and health issues on the shelf unless there is an urgent need to address those issues.
What about those Sabbaths when you are hurting or sick? When it's all you can do to breath and the pain is intense and you're dealing with the side effects of treatment. What do you do then? Christ longed to free those afflicted by disease. Read the story of Jesus healing the woman afflicted by disease for 18 years found Luke 13:10-17. He longs to heal us too!
You won't always be able to ignore cancer on Sabbath, there are physical needs which must be met. I learned that by caring for my physical needs and trying to be prepared before Sabbath allowed me to better focus on the spiritual and mental aspects of Sabbath. I chose to try spending portions of those Sabbaths reading God's Word until I fell asleep (yes, your body needs rest to heal). I enjoyed the occasional visitor as I was able and reveled in the quiet of a home stilled by the Sabbath rest. Beautiful soothing music or scriptures songs created an atmosphere of worship. Harpist playing her harp or the piano lifted my spirit heavenward more than she will ever know. Reading stories to Cat Lover and Rocket helped take my mind off my discomfort and drew our hearts closer together.
Depending on the intensity of your treatment, you may be unable to fellowship with others for extended periods of time. DVDs of your local church sermons or audio recordings may be a blessing. Try to get a friend to help you Skype in during a class or fellowship time if possible. I have a couple of dear friends with whom I started a conference call. We try to talk every couple of months or so. Fellowship is a blessing and you need it! On those really bad days, it may be all you can do to review portions of scripture you have memorized or have a family member or friend read the promises of God to you. Don't be afraid to start your prayer chain seeking God's direct intervention in your particular situation, there can be no better day for others to pray!
My Sabbaths are returning to normal rather quickly. But for those whose journey is much longer than mine. I pray specifically each week that you will experience the Sabbath blessings the Lord has for you.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Cancer Break
Well I'm enjoying my freedom for a few weeks and looking forward to our trip south. We spent part of this week with Grandparents and extended family a few hours away. When we returned, it seemed spring decided to show up early. Even our resident moose greeted us. Last evening Cat Lover stood on the garage roof and howled up a wolf pack. Yes, it seems they liked his deepening voice. We could distinctly hear their different voices answer his call from somewhere in our valley.
I was reminded to be careful this week as I managed to pull a muscle lying on my side reading a book. How's that for hurtingnyourself while doing nothing? It felt like one of my incisions totally burst open. We won't do that again for awhile. Scar tissue is now my medical issue, that pesky lymph node biopsy site needs to be stretched and massaged daily. It feels like the tissue is in knots. My cousin, who is a hand therapist, told me that scar tissue takes 2 years to mature. If I want those knots to go away, I'll be stretching and massaging for a long time. While one incision is in knots, the others are doing well. After a surgery like this, the tissue is very traumatized and swells, it is also very firm and not the soft natural feel you'd expect from breast tissue. Dr. N. told me the tissue would eventually soften and its finally starting to happen.
I also tried to schedule an appointment to see a physician regarding natural cancer therapies and followup. He called me back today and gave me the info I needed on the phone. Praise the Lord for Christian physicians who still consider themselves medical missionaries. We deeply appreciate his kindness.
Yes, I'm using this quiet time to further research my natural remedy options. If I was dealing with just the breast cancer it would be easier, but this is becoming a puzzle given my family history and a couple of other nagging issues. I pray for wisdom to identify the best course for me to pursue. That's the challenge of medical issues, you often can not see the full view of what needs to be addressed. But praise God, He does!
I was reminded to be careful this week as I managed to pull a muscle lying on my side reading a book. How's that for hurtingnyourself while doing nothing? It felt like one of my incisions totally burst open. We won't do that again for awhile. Scar tissue is now my medical issue, that pesky lymph node biopsy site needs to be stretched and massaged daily. It feels like the tissue is in knots. My cousin, who is a hand therapist, told me that scar tissue takes 2 years to mature. If I want those knots to go away, I'll be stretching and massaging for a long time. While one incision is in knots, the others are doing well. After a surgery like this, the tissue is very traumatized and swells, it is also very firm and not the soft natural feel you'd expect from breast tissue. Dr. N. told me the tissue would eventually soften and its finally starting to happen.
I also tried to schedule an appointment to see a physician regarding natural cancer therapies and followup. He called me back today and gave me the info I needed on the phone. Praise the Lord for Christian physicians who still consider themselves medical missionaries. We deeply appreciate his kindness.
Yes, I'm using this quiet time to further research my natural remedy options. If I was dealing with just the breast cancer it would be easier, but this is becoming a puzzle given my family history and a couple of other nagging issues. I pray for wisdom to identify the best course for me to pursue. That's the challenge of medical issues, you often can not see the full view of what needs to be addressed. But praise God, He does!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Living Breath by Breath
Recently I relistened to a message that always resets my image of God and who He is and where I live. (Louie Giglio, "How Great is Our God"). After hearing it twice in the space of a couple of weeks, the following insight dawned on me. Here is an excerpt of what I wrote and have shared with some of you who walk this road with me.
Is 40:27-31 is a promise that I specifically claim for those of us who walk this road called cancer. Just remember that whatever your life crisis, God's promise is for you, too.
"Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
I had always viewed that last verse as Christ's victorious promise of restoration at his second coming, when our wait will be over. But Louie explained that the Hebrew in this text gives the connotation that the renewal of strength is breath by breath. My thoughts went to my own cancer experience and the experience of others whose journey is much more difficult. I realized that when you think you can't go on, God gives you strength to take that next breath (diagnosis)...
and the next one (telling family and friends)....
and the next one (emergency treatment or more tests)...
and the next one (making decisions)...
and the next one (surgery) ....
and the next one (recovery)...
And the next one (followup treatment, radiation, and chemo)...
And the next one (dealing with cancer mentally)
and the next one to live for him in spite everything that comes your way.
This living, breath by painful breath, totally dependent on the strength of the Lord becomes a new song that we, marred by cancer, may sing each step of our unique journey for our Creator.
Is 40:27-31 is a promise that I specifically claim for those of us who walk this road called cancer. Just remember that whatever your life crisis, God's promise is for you, too.
"Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
I had always viewed that last verse as Christ's victorious promise of restoration at his second coming, when our wait will be over. But Louie explained that the Hebrew in this text gives the connotation that the renewal of strength is breath by breath. My thoughts went to my own cancer experience and the experience of others whose journey is much more difficult. I realized that when you think you can't go on, God gives you strength to take that next breath (diagnosis)...
and the next one (telling family and friends)....
and the next one (emergency treatment or more tests)...
and the next one (making decisions)...
and the next one (surgery) ....
and the next one (recovery)...
And the next one (followup treatment, radiation, and chemo)...
And the next one (dealing with cancer mentally)
and the next one to live for him in spite everything that comes your way.
This living, breath by painful breath, totally dependent on the strength of the Lord becomes a new song that we, marred by cancer, may sing each step of our unique journey for our Creator.
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Doc Report
This week was Appointment Week yet again. Inventor took me down, as DH had travelled the road on Monday and found it challenging. No one wanted me to overdo. It was a wise decision. The 10 mile stretch through the canyon was inundated with snow. When we pulled over to take some pictures, the snow on the road was up to the headlights of the 4WD.
My plastic surgeon's office is delighted with my recovery. They dropped all restrictions and gave me the green light to do whatever I want, so long it doesn't hurt, for the next six weeks. Hooray! I will see them the middle of April and my second OP surgery will be schedule at that time. Then it will be six more weeks of Silvadene creme and dressings. Hopefully that will all be done by Harpist's birthday backpack trip. She's planning a 24 mile weekend adventure I fear.
Dr. T, my naturopath, is happy with what I'm doing, after reviewing everything she's recommended some additional items to keep in my cancer fighting arsenal. Which means more research for me.
The garlic and honey continues to flow. Inventor says to tell our MI friends their experiment really works. The house REEEEKS. I've declared all raw garlic off limits tomorrow as church is going to be here. Cat Lover and Rocket are well on the recovery road. Harpist is using peppermint poultices on her face and charcoal poultices on her ears. They seem to be helping more than meds. I've threated to take her picture, but she gives me that look. The cats love her peppermint poultices so much she made each of them a mint pillow. You'd have thought we'd given them catnip. It's been hilarious to watch.
Since I have a six week break, I've decided to use it to focus on postings more reflective in nature and to update portions of other pages on this blog. Look for a weekly posting on some aspect of this process. DH and I originally decided to start this blog so everyone who wanted an update could get one easily. It has worked so well! It's also been therapy for me. Thank you for reading my therapy.
My plastic surgeon's office is delighted with my recovery. They dropped all restrictions and gave me the green light to do whatever I want, so long it doesn't hurt, for the next six weeks. Hooray! I will see them the middle of April and my second OP surgery will be schedule at that time. Then it will be six more weeks of Silvadene creme and dressings. Hopefully that will all be done by Harpist's birthday backpack trip. She's planning a 24 mile weekend adventure I fear.
Dr. T, my naturopath, is happy with what I'm doing, after reviewing everything she's recommended some additional items to keep in my cancer fighting arsenal. Which means more research for me.
The garlic and honey continues to flow. Inventor says to tell our MI friends their experiment really works. The house REEEEKS. I've declared all raw garlic off limits tomorrow as church is going to be here. Cat Lover and Rocket are well on the recovery road. Harpist is using peppermint poultices on her face and charcoal poultices on her ears. They seem to be helping more than meds. I've threated to take her picture, but she gives me that look. The cats love her peppermint poultices so much she made each of them a mint pillow. You'd have thought we'd given them catnip. It's been hilarious to watch.
Since I have a six week break, I've decided to use it to focus on postings more reflective in nature and to update portions of other pages on this blog. Look for a weekly posting on some aspect of this process. DH and I originally decided to start this blog so everyone who wanted an update could get one easily. It has worked so well! It's also been therapy for me. Thank you for reading my therapy.
Silver Linings
Cancer is a club no one wants to join, but when you drafted for membership, you find you're in pretty good company!
A friend with significant cancer experience emailed to tell me my hunch about cancer was correct. Once you've been diagnosed, life is different. I'm blessed, cancer means a changed body and future vigilance. For others it lurks around the corners of life in different ways. For one family member it is living daily with a cancer that must be monitored much like diabetes to see if medical intervention is needed. Try planning the next 6 months of your schedule with that always hanging over your head. Every time she gets the phone call with good test results, it means two more months of freedom. For another family member, it is one round of maintenance treatment after another, pushing cancer back so life can go on a little longer, at some point, the treatment options may run out. For you it might be a very valid fear of recurrence. For a friend it might be the struggle with residual effects of treatment on other body systems. Others lose the support of close family and friends who couldn't handle their cancer diagnosis. There may be financial or career challenges that linger for years. For any of us, it's the follow up appointments. It's having to write that 6 letter word on insurance applications and medical history questionnaires. It's remembering all over again when you learn someone else has been diagnosed. Yes, I'm realizing, there are lots of ways cancer hangs around.
From personal observation, cancer patients aren't the only people who deal with long term affects ask anyone who's been through any significant medical, physical or emotional trauma. Change the disease or event and modify the impact statement.
So what intangible "gifts" does a lurking, unpredictable disease with over 200 different identities bring? Are there silver linings? From personal observation and reading the experiences of others, the answer is usually a resounding YES. I've learned in life, a person with hope, even in the most wretched situation, will find some thread of gold.
Hope, what kind of gift is that? Hope is necessary for survival. There's plenty of research to back it up. Cancer brings hope front and center. As a patient, you must confront your hopes in light of your unique situation. Be honest! We all want a "cure", but for many there is no 100% cure. We are not fixing electronics or in the auto repair shop, it's the human body and a lurking disease. Productive hope recognizes the realities of the present and identifies realistic expectations. In my case, I may reasonably hope for total removal of cancer. In your case, you may hope for remission to resume your normal activities for an extended period. Or if you are in the midst of chemo, you may hope for a good weekend with blood counts high enough to enjoy a gathering of family or friends.
New spiritual lessons and insights from the Word of God. I crave my quiet time with my maker like never before. I need His strength for each day, every child, my DH and each decision I make.
The power of prayer, not so much for physical healing, but for healing in other aspects of my life and relationships. I've long recognized that a simple prayer for physical healing, while nice, may not give God enough latitude to work, God wants to heal more than my physical body, He wants to heal me in a thousand other ways as well. I realized I could seek physical healing alone, or I could allow God to work an even greater miracle in my life, yes through the vehicle of cancer. There is a beautiful quote I found that has become precious to me.
"In the full light of day, and in hearing of the music of other voices, the caged bird will not sing the song that his master seeks to teach him. He learns a snatch of this, a trill of that, but never a separate and entire melody. But the master covers the cage, and places it where the bird will listen to the one song he is to sing. In the dark, he tries and tries again to sing that song until it is learned, and he breaks forth in perfect melody. Then the bird is brought forth, and ever after he can sing that song in the light. Thus God deals with His children. He has a song to teach us, and when we have learned it amid the shadows of affliction we can sing it ever afterward." – {HDL 10.3} Ellen White
The blessing of quiet. It is easy to be unnerved by quiet, particularly when dealing with something new and scary. Like a marathon runner, many cancer patients often hear a lot of cheering at the beginning, particular milestones on the way and maybe at the end. Often when you run the cancer race, by the time you get to the finish line, many onlookers have tired of waiting and moved on. If you are the type who always needs noise around you and someone to need you, it may be hard to appreciate the blessing of quiet. Quiet allows time to reassess what is important. Quiet allows time to take care of your self. Quiet allows the noise to settle so you can appreciate the ordinary, a flock of birds, a child's smile, a simple note, reading a book. Oh how I have enjoyed this blessing! Thank you to those who have shouldered my share of the load these past two months so I could learn to truly appreciate the quiet. With my Type A personality, I really needed this blessing.
Appreciation for the here and now. There's a song that I like which says,
"We have this moment to hold in our hands and to touch
As it sifts through our fingers like sand.
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come,
But we have this moment today."
Cancer resets your long term thinking, it brings the present into sharp focus for those far sighted types who always look for the joy in the future. Take joy in the here and now.
A worldview that gives me a framework to understand the big picture of cancer and allows me to read as Paul Harvey used to say, "the rest of the story". I and others who share this worldview can walk this road without anger and bitterness, or fear of the future for we've read the last chapter. What comfort that is to my heart. That is peace.
I do not assume that my readers believe in God. WHY would anyone believe in a loving God who allows _____________ ? That, my friends, is a fair question, but only if you are willing to listen for an answer. I'm contemplating this, life changing events give you a new perspective on the "dry facts". Hmmm I feel another essay coming.
A friend with significant cancer experience emailed to tell me my hunch about cancer was correct. Once you've been diagnosed, life is different. I'm blessed, cancer means a changed body and future vigilance. For others it lurks around the corners of life in different ways. For one family member it is living daily with a cancer that must be monitored much like diabetes to see if medical intervention is needed. Try planning the next 6 months of your schedule with that always hanging over your head. Every time she gets the phone call with good test results, it means two more months of freedom. For another family member, it is one round of maintenance treatment after another, pushing cancer back so life can go on a little longer, at some point, the treatment options may run out. For you it might be a very valid fear of recurrence. For a friend it might be the struggle with residual effects of treatment on other body systems. Others lose the support of close family and friends who couldn't handle their cancer diagnosis. There may be financial or career challenges that linger for years. For any of us, it's the follow up appointments. It's having to write that 6 letter word on insurance applications and medical history questionnaires. It's remembering all over again when you learn someone else has been diagnosed. Yes, I'm realizing, there are lots of ways cancer hangs around.
From personal observation, cancer patients aren't the only people who deal with long term affects ask anyone who's been through any significant medical, physical or emotional trauma. Change the disease or event and modify the impact statement.
So what intangible "gifts" does a lurking, unpredictable disease with over 200 different identities bring? Are there silver linings? From personal observation and reading the experiences of others, the answer is usually a resounding YES. I've learned in life, a person with hope, even in the most wretched situation, will find some thread of gold.
Hope, what kind of gift is that? Hope is necessary for survival. There's plenty of research to back it up. Cancer brings hope front and center. As a patient, you must confront your hopes in light of your unique situation. Be honest! We all want a "cure", but for many there is no 100% cure. We are not fixing electronics or in the auto repair shop, it's the human body and a lurking disease. Productive hope recognizes the realities of the present and identifies realistic expectations. In my case, I may reasonably hope for total removal of cancer. In your case, you may hope for remission to resume your normal activities for an extended period. Or if you are in the midst of chemo, you may hope for a good weekend with blood counts high enough to enjoy a gathering of family or friends.
New spiritual lessons and insights from the Word of God. I crave my quiet time with my maker like never before. I need His strength for each day, every child, my DH and each decision I make.
The power of prayer, not so much for physical healing, but for healing in other aspects of my life and relationships. I've long recognized that a simple prayer for physical healing, while nice, may not give God enough latitude to work, God wants to heal more than my physical body, He wants to heal me in a thousand other ways as well. I realized I could seek physical healing alone, or I could allow God to work an even greater miracle in my life, yes through the vehicle of cancer. There is a beautiful quote I found that has become precious to me.
"In the full light of day, and in hearing of the music of other voices, the caged bird will not sing the song that his master seeks to teach him. He learns a snatch of this, a trill of that, but never a separate and entire melody. But the master covers the cage, and places it where the bird will listen to the one song he is to sing. In the dark, he tries and tries again to sing that song until it is learned, and he breaks forth in perfect melody. Then the bird is brought forth, and ever after he can sing that song in the light. Thus God deals with His children. He has a song to teach us, and when we have learned it amid the shadows of affliction we can sing it ever afterward." – {HDL 10.3} Ellen White
The blessing of quiet. It is easy to be unnerved by quiet, particularly when dealing with something new and scary. Like a marathon runner, many cancer patients often hear a lot of cheering at the beginning, particular milestones on the way and maybe at the end. Often when you run the cancer race, by the time you get to the finish line, many onlookers have tired of waiting and moved on. If you are the type who always needs noise around you and someone to need you, it may be hard to appreciate the blessing of quiet. Quiet allows time to reassess what is important. Quiet allows time to take care of your self. Quiet allows the noise to settle so you can appreciate the ordinary, a flock of birds, a child's smile, a simple note, reading a book. Oh how I have enjoyed this blessing! Thank you to those who have shouldered my share of the load these past two months so I could learn to truly appreciate the quiet. With my Type A personality, I really needed this blessing.
Appreciation for the here and now. There's a song that I like which says,
"We have this moment to hold in our hands and to touch
As it sifts through our fingers like sand.
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come,
But we have this moment today."
Cancer resets your long term thinking, it brings the present into sharp focus for those far sighted types who always look for the joy in the future. Take joy in the here and now.
A worldview that gives me a framework to understand the big picture of cancer and allows me to read as Paul Harvey used to say, "the rest of the story". I and others who share this worldview can walk this road without anger and bitterness, or fear of the future for we've read the last chapter. What comfort that is to my heart. That is peace.
I do not assume that my readers believe in God. WHY would anyone believe in a loving God who allows _____________ ? That, my friends, is a fair question, but only if you are willing to listen for an answer. I'm contemplating this, life changing events give you a new perspective on the "dry facts". Hmmm I feel another essay coming.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Cabin Fever, Elephants and more healing
It is snowing again, yesterday (Sabbath) we enjoyed intermittent heavy snow and beautiful sunshine. We planned to spend the day worshiping with our dear church family across the mountains. Alas, Cat Lover's bug proved contagious to Harpist and Rocket. So with three hacking, wheezing, low energy children, we decided not to reintroduce the bug to the general population. Many thanks to our friends for being realistic about when we'd truly be back at church. I tend to be too optimistic when major things come along.
It seems my only malady at the moment is a growing case of cabin fever. A town day this week with three doc appointments should fix that and send me scurrying for home. Since there is a town day this week, today is a school day. Given all the interruptions this school year, it is amazing the progress some of the children are making. We are doing school every day possible during this quiet lull. The quiet ends Tuesday and life starts to pick up steam according to our family calendar. Every quiet day we get from now to the middle of April is to be cherished.
In the mail Friday, came a package from someone DH talks about frequently, but whom I've never met. It contained a sweet note and a book written by a friend of hers. If you are a cancer patient, family member or have a friend with cancer, I recommend this book. Titled, The Elephant in the Room (Bob Riter) it is a down to earth, practical book about dealing with cancer. I've laughed, cried and said "that is so true" all at the same time. Bob writes from the dual perspective of cancer patient and cancer patient advocate. It's a unique combination that adds perspective to the journey.
Some more portions of life are returning to normal. My range of motion is probably close to 100%. My energy level allows routine daily activities as long as I do not put to many of them in one day. For those who know me well, this is highly unusual behavior. I love to find my limits and then stttrrreeetttcccchhhh them. Not this time. Inventor told me the other day I was becoming more "laid back". I actually took it as a complement!
The swelling under my arms and over the implants continues to decrease. My arms say they are tired of sticking out at odd angles to accommodate swelling, but the mirror doesn't totally agree with their assessment. My arm regular arm exercises provide the most relief.
Speaking of sensation observations, my chest skin is mostly numb. This was expected, but nonetheless must be dealt with. In some areas I can feel touch, but in most areas all I can discern is pressure. It is the same under my left arm where the lymph node biopsy was done. At least the shooting nerve pains are now few and far between and the muscle spasms are dying down. A cancer sister who is year ahead of me says more changes and sensations are to come. My left incision finally stopped draining, which means the incision is fully closed now. I think those pesky 5 inch incisions look really good, you'd probably disagree. But I compared them to the pics from the week of surgery, and trust me, they look great! The two incisions I'm not so happy about are the lymph node biopsy site and one of the drainage tube sites. I'll see what Dr. N has to say about them. She'll probably tell me to be patient. (Not one of my better virtues.)
A friend motivated me to get started on the nutritional aspect of my cancer follow up this week. I look forward to sharing more ideas with her. I've also been given the green light (by my doc) to take off a little more weight. I even have a deadline! Thanks to the friend who pointed me to a safe and healthy way I can do that weight loss without interfering with my healing.
I am now walking the children 2 times a day and DH is usually walking me in the evenings. The purpose of his walk is to improve my endurance. We also enjoy the talk time, the quiet snowy road and just the chance to hold hands. Cancer brings a deeper appreciation for enjoying the journey and not just looking forward to the destination. Hmmm...that thought might become an essay.
It seems my only malady at the moment is a growing case of cabin fever. A town day this week with three doc appointments should fix that and send me scurrying for home. Since there is a town day this week, today is a school day. Given all the interruptions this school year, it is amazing the progress some of the children are making. We are doing school every day possible during this quiet lull. The quiet ends Tuesday and life starts to pick up steam according to our family calendar. Every quiet day we get from now to the middle of April is to be cherished.
In the mail Friday, came a package from someone DH talks about frequently, but whom I've never met. It contained a sweet note and a book written by a friend of hers. If you are a cancer patient, family member or have a friend with cancer, I recommend this book. Titled, The Elephant in the Room (Bob Riter) it is a down to earth, practical book about dealing with cancer. I've laughed, cried and said "that is so true" all at the same time. Bob writes from the dual perspective of cancer patient and cancer patient advocate. It's a unique combination that adds perspective to the journey.
Some more portions of life are returning to normal. My range of motion is probably close to 100%. My energy level allows routine daily activities as long as I do not put to many of them in one day. For those who know me well, this is highly unusual behavior. I love to find my limits and then stttrrreeetttcccchhhh them. Not this time. Inventor told me the other day I was becoming more "laid back". I actually took it as a complement!
The swelling under my arms and over the implants continues to decrease. My arms say they are tired of sticking out at odd angles to accommodate swelling, but the mirror doesn't totally agree with their assessment. My arm regular arm exercises provide the most relief.
Speaking of sensation observations, my chest skin is mostly numb. This was expected, but nonetheless must be dealt with. In some areas I can feel touch, but in most areas all I can discern is pressure. It is the same under my left arm where the lymph node biopsy was done. At least the shooting nerve pains are now few and far between and the muscle spasms are dying down. A cancer sister who is year ahead of me says more changes and sensations are to come. My left incision finally stopped draining, which means the incision is fully closed now. I think those pesky 5 inch incisions look really good, you'd probably disagree. But I compared them to the pics from the week of surgery, and trust me, they look great! The two incisions I'm not so happy about are the lymph node biopsy site and one of the drainage tube sites. I'll see what Dr. N has to say about them. She'll probably tell me to be patient. (Not one of my better virtues.)
A friend motivated me to get started on the nutritional aspect of my cancer follow up this week. I look forward to sharing more ideas with her. I've also been given the green light (by my doc) to take off a little more weight. I even have a deadline! Thanks to the friend who pointed me to a safe and healthy way I can do that weight loss without interfering with my healing.
I am now walking the children 2 times a day and DH is usually walking me in the evenings. The purpose of his walk is to improve my endurance. We also enjoy the talk time, the quiet snowy road and just the chance to hold hands. Cancer brings a deeper appreciation for enjoying the journey and not just looking forward to the destination. Hmmm...that thought might become an essay.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Mom on Duty
One of our biggest blessings this winter is good health (other than I flunked my physical last fall). Staying healthy involves every member of the family particularly when you live in close quarters and someone needs to have major surgery with all the accompanying risks.
Inventor had a touch of a cold the week of Christmas. He downed so much raw garlic I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. Then we had an ambulance run with Grandpa, and the 5 hour drive to take them home, once the docs released him to travel. Inventor, myself, Grandpa and Grandma crammed into the cab of their pickup. Oh let me tell you it reeked. But it worked, he fought off his cold and praise the Lord, neither of us picked up anything on the train ride home with people hacking and wheezing all around us. The rest of the children and DH do their best to stay healthy, garlic, vitamins, fruit and green veggies and mostly avoiding sugar. A month of mostly self imposed isolation in our valley didn't hurt either.
But 3:30 Sabbath morning, Rocket sounded the alarm. MOM! Cat Lover is sick! Bleary eyed, Dh and I rolled out bed. Rocket led me to his brother's bedside, excitedly reviewing all the symptoms he'd observed. Sure enough, chills, sore throat, temp of 101.5, and raspy breathing. Rocket roused Inventor and Harpist from their slumbers and pressed them into service. I requested boiling water of Harpist, a tent design from Inventor, and extra blankets and the heating pad from Rocket. Such assistence at 3 am I never had when they were little! After doing all we could to make our patient comfortable, I commandeered Rocket's bed next to the patient and sent him back to bed with DH. Not so much because of the patient's condition, but unless I did, none of us would get any sleep. Rocket would provide "play by play" analysis until dawn if I left him at his post of duty.
As I carefully climbed into Rocket's bed, I thanked the Lord this hadn't happened sooner. At least I'm at a place recovery wise where I can at direct care for others. (Fevers and stomach flu are my specialities,DH handles blood and guts.) Cat Lover will recover this week and hopefully no one else will pick up his bug.
DH sent me to church at the neighbor's while he spent a quiet Sabbath home with Cat Lover. It was a silver lining on a gray cloud for both of us. He needed a quiet day for reflection as he was very tired while the children and I needed the fellowship of dear friends and believers to recharge. We all were blessed. DH and I even got our evening walk in together.
Sabbaths and town days still wear me out though. My body said NO MORE today. Two walks and two loads of laundry did me in. The recliner called and I answered. I'm not complaining, just coming to grips with the fact that my body is taking its own sweet time to heal. Thankfully, my family and friends graciously accomodate my reduced activity tolerance.ord choose to be grateful for the opportunity to view life from a different perspective. It helps me appreciate the path of those who suffer more than I. So take advantage of unwanted learning opportunities when they come your way. Choose to find the silver lining in the midst of worry, physical limitations and frustrations, it won't remove the bumps in the road, but it can add a little cushion to them.
And yes, the place reeks of raw garlic. The other three children are consuming even larger quantities regularly. Clothespin please.
Inventor had a touch of a cold the week of Christmas. He downed so much raw garlic I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. Then we had an ambulance run with Grandpa, and the 5 hour drive to take them home, once the docs released him to travel. Inventor, myself, Grandpa and Grandma crammed into the cab of their pickup. Oh let me tell you it reeked. But it worked, he fought off his cold and praise the Lord, neither of us picked up anything on the train ride home with people hacking and wheezing all around us. The rest of the children and DH do their best to stay healthy, garlic, vitamins, fruit and green veggies and mostly avoiding sugar. A month of mostly self imposed isolation in our valley didn't hurt either.
But 3:30 Sabbath morning, Rocket sounded the alarm. MOM! Cat Lover is sick! Bleary eyed, Dh and I rolled out bed. Rocket led me to his brother's bedside, excitedly reviewing all the symptoms he'd observed. Sure enough, chills, sore throat, temp of 101.5, and raspy breathing. Rocket roused Inventor and Harpist from their slumbers and pressed them into service. I requested boiling water of Harpist, a tent design from Inventor, and extra blankets and the heating pad from Rocket. Such assistence at 3 am I never had when they were little! After doing all we could to make our patient comfortable, I commandeered Rocket's bed next to the patient and sent him back to bed with DH. Not so much because of the patient's condition, but unless I did, none of us would get any sleep. Rocket would provide "play by play" analysis until dawn if I left him at his post of duty.
As I carefully climbed into Rocket's bed, I thanked the Lord this hadn't happened sooner. At least I'm at a place recovery wise where I can at direct care for others. (Fevers and stomach flu are my specialities,DH handles blood and guts.) Cat Lover will recover this week and hopefully no one else will pick up his bug.
DH sent me to church at the neighbor's while he spent a quiet Sabbath home with Cat Lover. It was a silver lining on a gray cloud for both of us. He needed a quiet day for reflection as he was very tired while the children and I needed the fellowship of dear friends and believers to recharge. We all were blessed. DH and I even got our evening walk in together.
Sabbaths and town days still wear me out though. My body said NO MORE today. Two walks and two loads of laundry did me in. The recliner called and I answered. I'm not complaining, just coming to grips with the fact that my body is taking its own sweet time to heal. Thankfully, my family and friends graciously accomodate my reduced activity tolerance.ord choose to be grateful for the opportunity to view life from a different perspective. It helps me appreciate the path of those who suffer more than I. So take advantage of unwanted learning opportunities when they come your way. Choose to find the silver lining in the midst of worry, physical limitations and frustrations, it won't remove the bumps in the road, but it can add a little cushion to them.
And yes, the place reeks of raw garlic. The other three children are consuming even larger quantities regularly. Clothespin please.
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