A quiet sabbath at home. DH took the whole crew around the mountains to fellowship today. These mornings are always early ones, they were out the door just after 6am. Their IM posts let me know they are nearing their destination.
Sunrise playing peek a boo with the clouds, soft harp music, a favorite cup of herb tea, two cats snoring in their favorite locations while I rest after seeing the family off. Quiet time with my Lord, lunch with a dear friend, notes to write, a few phone calls to make and sweet rest. It will be a full day!
On the medical front:
Recovery is going well, my 8" incision is healing up beautifully. Dr. H was not taking any chances with clean margins this time. When I saw her Thursday, she told me she had been asked by someone what she would say to me if she didn't have clean margins. She told them she would rather leave town than face me! I don't blame her. This has been tough on both of us.
Now that phase one is behind me, phase two looms ahead and as yet there is no total consensus on a treatment plan. Three medical oncologists, 3 opinions and they are all a little different. (It's much less stressful when you fit in a fairly standard bucket.) We have been praying this week for the Lord to go before us and make the path clear. It would be good to have a decision finalized this coming week as I will be ready physically for phase 2 around the 3rd week of February.
The negative side of the mental picture:
I don't get through a day without tears, (and I hate crying). It's not fear of the future (Christ conquered all! ), it's not WHY ME or poor me (that wastes time and energy), usually it's not physical pain, sometimes it's frustration, but most often it's stress at having our lives reconfigured by a 7mm nodule that shouldn't have been anything.
The positive side of the mental picture:
1. Rethinking ways we've done things in light of our new reality for this year. Tapping into incredible resources that God put in place before we ever knew we would need them.
2. A deeper ability to empathize with others who are going through severe experiences. I often sit in silent companionship, for there are no words to resolve or mask the pain.
3. Reconnecting with old friends and family in a meaningful way.
4. Meeting incredible new friends who are survivors and fighters against all odds. They inspire me.
5. Being reminded that my docs and providers are real people and having incredibly open and honest conversations with them about the road ahead, my concerns, and theirs too.
6. Being blessed by my incredible family and friends.
7. Learning new ways of working together as a family (um...that's a positive way of saying...we have our moments!)
So today, here are my prayer requests:
- A coworker of DH, who buried his wife this week after faithfully caring for her for the past two years. She had a massive stroke just before my surgery in 2012. They have a daughter about Rocket's age.
- a coworker of DH, whose father was admitted to hospice on Wednesday. DH was able to connect with him as we just went through that experience this past summer.
- my dear 10 year breast cancer survivor friend, who always radiates Florida sunshine. Three days after we last talked, She suffered a stroke and spent two weeks in ICU with life threatening complications. She is now in rehab and that is tough work!
- a sweet friend who just buried her stepfather.
- wisdom as we make care decisions in the week ahead.
- There are many more I could add and so could you.
I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who holds you and me in the palms of his nail scarred hands. Through the pain, hurt, anguish and upheaval that that ravage my life and yours, He is still our Comforter.
Be Thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth! Ps 57:5
The sun is out. I shall go walking!
Happy Sabbath
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